


Heartbreak Shots

by ClassicLitLover



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gay John Laurens, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 09:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12767763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassicLitLover/pseuds/ClassicLitLover
Summary: Ten things that broke John Laurens's heart.





	Heartbreak Shots

One. The way Alex looks at the world with passion. Ideas, women, books, and an open blue sky. The way his eyes whisper "I love you" to every new day. Because with each new dawn he can be everything. With John Laurens, he can be nothing but a disgrace. 

Two. His first boyfriend, Francis Kinloch breaks up with him in a letter. Signing it with an adieu, he treats John like a phase that doesn't matter. John was nothing to Francis, but Francis was always everything to John. 

Three. The first time John sees a slave auction, he feels like throwing up. And he does. Outside the tavern in an alleyway. When he gets back home he sobs for hours. Neither his father nor the slave boy looks him in the eye. 

Four. "Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, that it might be, in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love y-" John stops reading and feeds the lies to the crackling flames of the hearth. 

Five. John observes the green turtle as it waddled across the wet sand. He picks up his quill. Baby turtles, he writes. They are so young and innocent. How could the world let them die?

Six.  
"Dear Mr. John Laurens,  
It would be an honor for you to join in the commemoration of the happy union of Mr. Alexander Hamilton and Miss. Elizabeth Schuyler on December 14th, 1780."  
John stashed the letter in his pocket and looked over at Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan, who were slapping each other on the back and celebrating. 

"Fifty bucks, man. I told you so!" said the brawny one, slamming his fist down on the table. 

"But of course," The Frenchman replied jokingly. 

Why was John always the last to know?

Seven. You have to go, you have to go, you have to go. No, he didn't. John smashed the mirror in. He could go get drunk. If he was numb, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so goddamn much. 

Eight. John stormed into the bar and cried until everything felt raw. Maybe nothing would hurt at all.

Nine. Dark. The day was over. The wedding night.

Ten. John waved his hand for the server to return, feeling his world spin at the slightest motion. Time to take another shot.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Readers! I just wanted to give some comments and closure on the emotionality of John Laurens in this work. I've read a lot of fanfics where John Laurens seems to be relatively okay with the idea of Hamilton marrying someone other than him. I know that in this fic John Laurens may come across as selfish or insensitive to be a no-show at his best friend's wedding, but please consider the way I based this entire work on the many painful moments of John Laurens's life (in my imagination).


End file.
